Emery's Life

WAITING ON PEACE CORPS CHINA DECISION.

HOPE HOPE HOPE THEY ACCEPT ME!!!!

If not, the following is a grad school list:


Seton Hill

Stone Coast

Western State Colorado University

Center for Cartoon Studies

5 very simple meal ideas if you have 0 cooking skills whatsoever and little money.

Breakfast: Oatmeal. Boil the water (you know, put it on high heat and wait until the bubbles come up). Take a package of predone oatmeal, like Quakers, and put it in a bowl. Add the water to your preferred consistency. Stir. Wait until it cools.

Alternative Breakfast -- cereal and milk. You know how this works.

Lunch: Peanut Butter and Jelly Tortillas. Take a tortilla, put peanut butter to taste. Add Jelly. Roll, making sure the bottom edge is folded over. Enjoy.

Dinner: BOXED Mac and Cheese. Boil the water. Add the pasta, cooking for 6-10 minutes, depending on what the box says. Strain. Add in butter, milk, and the cheese, depending on box's instructions.

Nachos. Also good as a snack. Take beans -- black beans are best, and drain some of the liquid. Put them in a pot along with some cheese, usually cheddar is best but you can experiment. Turn the heat on medium and stir until the cheese is melted.

Take some chips -- ones with a light lime flavor are delicious but also cool ranch or just regular corn chips, and cover a plate with them. Pour your bean and cheese mixture on the chips.

Add your toppings. Personally, I just like to cut up some cherry tomatoes -- in half -- and add salt and pepper, but if you like other things, by all means, go to town.

Enjoy. 

And that's it. Super simple and cheap meals to keep you from starving. Good luck and happy "cooking"!

~ E

A small rant and a reminder

I hate passive aggressiveness.

I don't think anyone loves it, and I'm not going to point to any particular incident because (A) that would be IRONY and (b) I don't have one in mind, but rather a bunch that come to mind that I really wish had been resolved, or at least I could have had a conscious choice to walk away from, instead of always wondering if something was meant passive aggressively, or if I was just reading into something too much -- a thing that happens to me a lot.

But I also see the downside to this "tell it to my face" mentality, because I hate being told off to my face, almost as much as I hate passive aggressiveness. Instead, in my ideal world, I'd rather you'd write me an email or a text, telling me what you think, so then I can cry, over-analyze it and THEN come up with a suitable response.

But because the world doesn't work that way, I have devised the following, called, "if something feels wrong in your gut, follow your instincts." In other words, if someone is making you feel like crap and you don't know why and they won't tell you, and you're not all that close to them, why are you still dealing with them? If your association with them isn't making you feel like the whole person that you are, then stop. Take them off facebook, and get on with your life. Life is too short for phony friends.

So, go through your contacts and your social media every time you start to feel that sinking feeling in your stomach, and get rid of all the people that make you hate yourself, that you don't talk to, that you don't even LIKE or even KNOW, because it's not worth it to keep people, however small on the toxic scale, in your life.

You deserve better.

This has been yet another PSA.

~ Emery

P.S

And while you're at it, same for all those news sites and companies that you follow.

If they're dragging you down, kick 'em off!

Summer -- A quick reminder

"Summer is awful" -- Gene Belcher of Bob's Burgers states.




And he's right, especially as an adult who's taking the summer off, I don't know what I'm doing just sitting here typing. There's so much to do!!! Why am I not doing it!

But somewhere inside me, I remember that the whole point of summer is to do nothing. To just relax. To do stupid things that are entirely UNPRODUCTIVE! And it's from this freedom and unchaining of the soul that creativity comes!

So, repeat after me.

BREATHE. PLAY. RELAX.

And enjoy your summer.

~ Emery

Destressing 101

So, something I learned today -- if you're ever super worried about a problem, and you're waiting for it to resolve, hand wash your clothes.

It is labor intensive, exhausts you, and you feel productive, since these aren't clothes you can wash otherwise.

How do you do this?

Fill your bathtub part way with cold water.

Add laundry soap if the items can handle it. If not, do the ones that can't handle it first, then put in the laundry soap after. I recommend doing no more than 10 items at a time. Trust me, ten is plenty.

Wash the items. Pretend your a washing machine. Swirl the clothes around. Dunk them in again. Shake them violently.

Use your sink to rinse them, making sure you use cold water and that you get all the soap out.

Now, you can take a towel and wrap them to dry, before then hanging them, or you can -- if you're a masochist -- just straight up hang them, wringing the water out as best you can.


They'll take a while to dry, you can hang them in your shower, or better yet, outside on a clothes line, and voila!

DISTRACTION!

But be sure to clean up everything afterward.

Now go fall asleep. You've earned it and you're going to be tired and your arms are going to hurt now.

~ E 

Quick Notes from a blocked artist

So, as someone who wants a career in writing, I often get blocked, for a variety of reasons. And until recently, I would try very hard to bulldoze right into those blocks. And sometimes it worked, but most times it didn't. 

I hear a lot of pro and not pro artists and writers telling you if you're serious, you practice every day. You write everyday. You don't move until you've done your time. 

And I believed them. Until I saw another pro on twitter say that writing wasn't a prison. And she disagreed with all those who were keeping themselves captive.

And that set me free. 

Now, if the captive thing works for you -- by all means. Do it. 

But for me, it just makes me blocked. I would tell myself, you'll sit here, and you'll do 3 hours of writing for WTMW (my major project). Or, you'll read these books on writing, in this order. Or, you'll revise THIS now. You'll draw fan art on fridays. 

And this simply doesn't work for me. Why? Because you've killed your creativity. When you've told yourself, what to write, how to write, and when to write, what's left? No space for creativity, that's for sure! 

So here's a new trick I'm going to try. You can tell yourself how, what, or when, but you only get to pick one. 

Then, see what happens. 

Good luck my dear, creative souls!

~ Emery 

P.S 

And don't worry so much about perfection. Be free. Send out what you want to send out, and are passionate about today. Don't wait. Just do it. 

The breakup toolbox

Here are ten tools to help you get over that stupid breakup- no matter how long you were together.
1. No contact. Start immediately. If you want him back, the period is 30 days. If you don’t, 60 days. If it was long term and/or your world feels like it’s been shattered to pieces, 90 days or more. Make some blank boxes, counting to 30/60/90 then check off each box. Put a reward at the end, if you want.
2. Have a support group of friends and call them whenever you want to call him. Don’t break your chain of xs. You can do this. Remember- if he wanted to talk to you so badly, he’d call you. And if he does- don’t respond. It’s not worth it. You’ll be opening a fresh wound and it’s not worth it. Trust me. If you constantly break up and get back together, each time it’s going to be harder and harder to get over him. Do yourself a favor and just get over him the first time. However, if you *really* want him back (but seriously, why would you? He literally broke your heart) check out ‘getyourexbackpermanently.com. But seriously. It’s broken. Don’t do it. You can do better.
3. On that note, read, ‘It’s called a breakup because it’s broken.’ It’s brilliant and it will make you feel better. Just do it.
4. Put all the things that remind him of you in a box. Put it in your closet. Don’t open said closet for at least 3 months.
5. Create a breakup playlist. I recommend lots of country music, Taylor Swift, and other mean songs about men. Also, the song, ‘don’t waste the pretty.’ It will make you feel better to have some petty rage songs.
6. Be aware of the 7 stages of grief. You will go through them. Many times.
7. Take him off allll your social media and his friends, too. Unfriendly him. Otherwise you’re going into stalker town and you don’t want that. Trust me.
8. Focus on you. Especially if it was intense or long term or both, your works is probably pretty shattered. You’re going to have to rebuild it. It’s okay. You got this. Find your loves again- your hobbies, your sports, your drive and throw yourself into something for a while.
9. It’s okay to wallow. Let yourself be sad. But don’t stay there.
10. Lastly, do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself. Get new sheets, a new haircut, or a manicure. Something that makes you feel radiant.

And lastly, know that you’re strong. And you can do this. How long until you start feeling better? There’s no exact number, but 3 months was good for me. Good luck, no rebounding, and you can do it!
-E

Some thoughts on happiness

Hello all!

Short and sweet today --


The pursuit of happiness is pretty much universal, but as far as books go, I've definitely seen a rising trend of books about being happy. People may call this mindfulness, hygge, or simply something like "the happiness project" but it seems in today's exceedingly grey world, people feel that happiness has become a goal, rather than a state of being.

I am constantly reminded of this comic: https://zenpencils.com/comic/80-henry-david-thoreau-on-happiness/  and of Womankind's article on the idea of what we are really seeking when we pursue happiness, is the all too short lived sensation of pleasure -- the feeling we get when we have a good meal, buy a new "toy" of some sort, or listen to good music. But is it really happiness? That's yet to be decided, but the author of the article doesn't think so, claiming happiness comes from inside, and is a state of mind.

I don't know about any of that, but it's interesting to think about.

Thinking about also -- a caller to Barnes and Noble asked about books about Alice and Philosophy, and I found three that I want to read.

The Logic of Alice
Alice and Wonderland and Philosophy
Wonderland: The Zen of Alice

Lastly, it is important to try many things, but if you make everything a priority, nothing is, so do what you WANT to do, not what you feel you should or ought to. 

Happy rainy Thursday,

~ Emery

Top Ten Finance Life "Hacks"

Hello all!

I've been currently reading a book called "Your Money Life, [in] Your 20s" by Peter Dunn, and it's really gotten me thinking about money. So here are my top ten financial tips, inspired by my life experience and this book.
Enjoy!

Life HACKS 

for FINANCE

1.  TRACK YOUR SPENDING. Download Penny right now from the app store. I've used this app now for over a year and you don't know how much money you're spending -- and on what -- until you look at this app. It's full of interesting financial advice, and categorizes all your spending (bills, transportation, food, etc) and spots trends. I had no idea how much money I was spending on food -- and that was the money I was spending that I felt most guilty about -- until I looked at this app. Once I recognized this, I seriously cut back and spent the money on what I actually wanted to spend money on. If you don't trust an app, which I get, but it's sooooo much easier, use an old fashioned notebook. In fact, I take that back. Even if you use Penny, use both. 
2.  Don't keep excessive amounts of money in checking. Figure out what your cushion is, then take everything else out and put it in a savings account, a CD, or a jar, if you can't be trusted not to pull from savings. If you have money in there, you will spend it. Peter Dunn notes it's like a bowl of M & Ms. If there's a small bowl out, everybody will only take a couple out, but if it's a GIANT bowl, you can bet you'll be taking out handfuls. Don't give yourself that temptation. 
3. A savings account is a terrible place for your money. It's better than checking, but the interest you get on a savings account is just not enough. Your money really should be working for you. So, (and this is on my to do list) instead of letting it rot, invest it. Put it in a CD (my personal goal) which is a lot like a savings account, only you can't touch the money for a period of time, and it gets higher interest, or invest in bonds (low risk, lower reward) or stocks (high risk, high reward). After due research, of course. 
4. Debt, according to Peter Dunn, is horrible for many reasons, but mostly because you are trying to pay the past, present, and future all at once, and it's hard enough to pay the present and future WITHOUT your past haunting you. He also notes, no matter how clever you try to be about it, credit cards are not worth it. At BEST they prove you are a good borrower, which is not the best indicator of financial health. Pay them off as quickly as possible, and avoid store credit cards at all costs. If you're going to get into debt, choose either a mortgage or a student loan, which have the best chance of actually living up to the severe cost of the debt. 
5. Speaking of, the best way to pay off debt, according to Dunn, is to take the smallest loan and pay it off as quick as you can. Then, take the money that you just freed up, and apply it to your next smallest loan, and so on and so forth. 
6. A sale is not a bargain if you wouldn't have bought the item to begin with. This one isn't Peter Dunn. This was professor of physics, Phil Wolf, and I'm sure this one has been said many different ways. Seriously, spending money just because you feel like it's a discount, doesn't mean you're not spending money. 
7. Create a monthly "fun" budget. You know you're going to treat yourself to somethings, so why not plan for it and make a budget? You'll have to think about what you really want, and you won't feel guilty about it when you do. I spend about $20 per month on books, and not only do I feel super fancy when I pick out my book of the month, but I also don't buy other things I don't really want to fill the void, or "because I can." 
8. Speaking of filling the void, think about your financial goals, both short and long. What do you really want to spend money on. What do you really want? A new computer? A gaming system? Fancy headphones? Clothes? To pay off your loan? To me, the top three things I want are: books, travel money, and to pay off my loan, so each thing I do is carefully considered. I also know in advance what my next trip is, which loan I want to pay off and by when, and how much money I want to spend on books. Thus, I have a monthly allowance, a travel fund, and a weekly amount that goes to my loans. It works actually quite well. 
9. Have an emergency fund. You never know what may go wrong. Penny suggests about 3 months of living expenses. I don't have that much right now, but it's definitely a goal for me.  
10. Have a buffer. I don't care if you're talking about money in your checking account, how much income you're going to bring in, or how much money you're going to spend this month. Always assume less than projected. You never know what will come up, and you need to be able to breathe at night. 

Finally, here's some bonus tips -- always keep reading and learning about finance. You never know when you'll come across something that's right for you. Also, file your taxes early. Seriously. And don't make unnecessary purchases -- or use atms with fees. But you knew all that right??? 

All for now, hope this has been useful! 

<3 

~ Emery 

Why we need not-STEM and other considerations

STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) have gotten a lot of hype in the last few years. And, to be fair, I get it. Science is cool. Math is interesting. And they open a lot of doors for us.

But with this uprising of STEM, I've found a lot of other fields are being labeled as less than. In fact, I would argue that any field that doesn't comprise of the STEM fields is being considered less than, but what I especially notice is that the more the field relies on instinct and heart, the more it is mocked by the logical and brain society. Which is fundamentally stupid for a number of reasons, most importantly because all fields require us to both think and feel, (science's big revelation came with Jane Goodall, who named her chimps, and art frequently uses both skills), but also because art contributes something tremendously valuable to society.

It allows us to see what others think and feel, it draws life to the issues facing our society, it shows us light and dark, and it inspires us to make a change in the world. We need art as much as we need science, and thinking otherwise is tremendously small minded. But, because this is a blog and not a political platform, though maybe in future I will use it to point out ethics and human rights issues, here is a list of some amazing or interesting things art has going on. 

(1) Art -- in all forms -- fights against Racism, Sexism, and other ism to enlighten, inform, and to create. Some do this through novels, others through comics, art, dance, theater, music, etc. There's no limit.

Try reading something that will make you think differently, and remember how powerful art is.

Examples? The Hate U Give, by Angie Thomas, or Kindred, by Octavia Butler.

(2) Art brings awareness and emotion to political issues.

Look to Womankind Magazine for amazing photos or check out this article that talks about a cartoonist who drew and spoke to the homeless and what he found out.

(3) Art (with the notable exception of writing) is universal. While language (which I love, and more on that later) learning allows you to widen the people you can learn from and befriend, art allows you to have that connection without words. You can experience a completely different culture because we all see through images, but the messages we get from those images, aren't always the same. In fact, they rarely are. The same can be said for music, dance, or even theater, if you don't mind doing a little bit of guessing here and there.

You can look at music in four different languages and still understand and be moved by the content.

Italian and English
French
Japanese
Mandarin

(4) Art warms the heart and rejuvenates us, and makes us remember we are alive and not just cogs in a wheel.
For example, like Zen Pencils 

(5) And lastly, art, and the making of it, are a sharing of the soul. Of one's dreams, fears, understandings, and agonies, and this truly cannot be replaced.

We are all artists too, as Julia Cameron asserts, and by denying that part of us, we go too close to the dystopia novels (starter guide: read Matched, Bumped, Divergent, and Everless) which we ought to fear -- and yet, there is a reason they have become more and more popular.

In short, and in conclusion, Art humanizes us, and connects us to ourselves and others. This is not something we should ever try and replace.

The STEM fields are WONDERFUL, and this is in no way a slaughter of them, but a reminder of why we need art, and some food for thought for those who, like myself, have too often listened to the general consensus, instead of to their hearts.


Because, without our hearts, what are we but shells? Robots? Or cogs in a wheel?

And you and I both know that there is far more to humanity than that.

~ Emery

Ten Ways to Be Happy - in my experience

Take it from someone who suffered from depression without a cause - mild enough to not warrant therapy but severe enough to make her miserable. The fall through the cracks type that no one understands but still affects you daily.

I always knew the sadness I was feeling was circumstantial - I'd never had it growing up - but I didn't know what circumstances they were.

So, for all of you who are sad and depressed and for whom there is no explanation, here are ten ways to help make you happy again that, again, in my limited experience, have worked.

Or, if this isn't at all applicable to you, consider it advice to my past self.

(1). The moment you define yourself by your relationship to someone, be it significant other, friend, or relative, it will destroy you. Your self esteem, and every thought will become toxically obsessed with them, and worse, what they think of you. Never make someone or something your world. You are the only thing that it worth making your world. To be happy, if you must have a label, give yourself a label of something you have a great deal of passion for, provided it gives you joy and not pressure. Instead of Girlfriend, try Writer. It will suit you better.

(2.) Get rid of what isn't serving you -- you know, that nagging part in your head that says, "why I am still doing this/why do I still have this?" This means poor "friends" whom, after hanging out with them, you feel "bleh" or sick or angry -- anyone who doesn't make you feel ecstatic about yourself, old clothes that make you feel gross, or a job that you secretly hate. Don't lie to yourself. And don't hang onto the toxic people.

(3) Instead, find people who support you unconditionally, the friend who loves all of your artwork, thinks everything you wear is cute, and thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread and will always text you back at 11 at night, assuming they're awake and don't have a final the next morning. These people will support you and make you feel loved, which will allow your self esteem and joy go up.

(4) Stop feeling guilty. Either fix the problem, if you can, about what you're feeling guilty about, or let it go. It's not worth it.

(5) Similarly, stop putting so much pressure on yourself. Fuck the to do lists. In my mind, I compartmentalize things now in 4 categories: Wants, Needs, Ought tos, and shoulds. If it's not in the first two categories, fuck it. You're not doing what makes you happy.

(6) Cut back on technology, especially news and social media. You don't know how miserable they're making you until you take a step back. A little is fine, but it's all too easy to fall into the trap of comparison and addiction, which means you're going to spend your day doing nothing, watching others doing something. This is not going to make you feel better.

(7) Find a way to have a better relationship with money. Try to be balanced. Look at budgets, look at second jobs or freelance if you're always broke. Figure out your money goals. Be aware of where you're spending and if it's on the things you truly want. Set a budget for yourself, if you can, for just fun things. I set aside $20 a month, for whatever I want. I find that as a result, I splurge way less, and I know that I do get to buy the things I want with it.

(8) Dance. Or if you're not a dancer, listen to music that makes you feel good, or do both. It's important to take breaks sometime.

(9) Follow your intuition and try and remember the things that give you joy. Set 2 minutes aside every day to do one of those things. You'll be surprised by how if your love of one thing will spark, everything else will follow.

(10) Lastly, remember, you are stronger than you think, smarter and more talented. And you will get through this. There are a lot of people who think the world of you. Or if you don't feel like there are, then give that love to yourself. Put your own needs first -- not in a damn others way, but in a, here's what I need to be happy and thrive way. You'd be surprised by what happens.

Hope this has been helpful.

My best always,

~ Emery

A look at my toolkit

It’s a very strange feeling to realize you’ve been writing a story for 12 years. You learn things you couldn’t have dreamed of, and the nuance is more than a little startling. Also, you’ll never wonder whether or not you’re a writer. It’s been ingrained in you for a long time.

That said, everyone starts somewhere and I’m always learning more. Here are some of my favorite resources.
- Baby Names Book
- Orson Scott Card’s On Fantasy and Science Fiction
- Writer’s Digest special, once a year issue on Novel Writing
-Strathmore sketch book
-papermate sharperiter #2 yellow mechanical pencils
-precise v5 rolling ball (pilot?) extra fine pens
-peter pauper press or paperblanks notebooks
-iTunes music + headphones + my specially crafted playlist
- fashion 101 by Erica Stalder
- the writer’s toolbox, the elemental encyclopedia of magical creatures, artist’s way, the book of the dragon, and a host of other things, if I’m stuck.

New blog. Again.

I am the queen of starting new blogs and not finishing them, so this one’s going to be a little different. Instead of being on one topic, it’s goung to be whatever is currently on my mind. Stay tuned for the randomness. It’s going to get weird.