Here are ten tools to help you get over that stupid breakup- no matter how long you were together.
1. No contact. Start immediately. If you want him back, the period is 30 days. If you don’t, 60 days. If it was long term and/or your world feels like it’s been shattered to pieces, 90 days or more. Make some blank boxes, counting to 30/60/90 then check off each box. Put a reward at the end, if you want.
2. Have a support group of friends and call them whenever you want to call him. Don’t break your chain of xs. You can do this. Remember- if he wanted to talk to you so badly, he’d call you. And if he does- don’t respond. It’s not worth it. You’ll be opening a fresh wound and it’s not worth it. Trust me. If you constantly break up and get back together, each time it’s going to be harder and harder to get over him. Do yourself a favor and just get over him the first time. However, if you *really* want him back (but seriously, why would you? He literally broke your heart) check out ‘getyourexbackpermanently.com. But seriously. It’s broken. Don’t do it. You can do better.
3. On that note, read, ‘It’s called a breakup because it’s broken.’ It’s brilliant and it will make you feel better. Just do it.
4. Put all the things that remind him of you in a box. Put it in your closet. Don’t open said closet for at least 3 months.
5. Create a breakup playlist. I recommend lots of country music, Taylor Swift, and other mean songs about men. Also, the song, ‘don’t waste the pretty.’ It will make you feel better to have some petty rage songs.
6. Be aware of the 7 stages of grief. You will go through them. Many times.
7. Take him off allll your social media and his friends, too. Unfriendly him. Otherwise you’re going into stalker town and you don’t want that. Trust me.
8. Focus on you. Especially if it was intense or long term or both, your works is probably pretty shattered. You’re going to have to rebuild it. It’s okay. You got this. Find your loves again- your hobbies, your sports, your drive and throw yourself into something for a while.
9. It’s okay to wallow. Let yourself be sad. But don’t stay there.
10. Lastly, do something nice for yourself. Treat yourself. Get new sheets, a new haircut, or a manicure. Something that makes you feel radiant.
And lastly, know that you’re strong. And you can do this. How long until you start feeling better? There’s no exact number, but 3 months was good for me. Good luck, no rebounding, and you can do it!
-E
